I hate to incorporate myself into the hideous mass of protoplasm known as “mass media criticism”, but good Lord, I hated this movie. Not only did I sympathize with Richard Roeper here, but if I had been in the screening room with him, I would have offered to buy him a slice of Chicago style pepperoni down the street if he agreed to depart with me immediately. As Roeper noted, he has never walked out of a screening room during a movie, but he was tempted here. I will do him one better…I came close to staggering out of my own living room. But there are a lot of steps down to the first floor, and quite frankly, the parking lot is no prize.

Intangible nonsense.

Note: I have no problem with “intangible” in film, but I sometimes have a problem with “nonsense”. And the two tied together usually disappoints. Gilliam is definitely one of my most…well I guess I should say, anticipated directors. I always look forward to what is coming next from him. I usually “get it” with him, and look forward to the next. This movie is one of those kinds of movies where all I can say is…”I get it….but I just don’t get it.” His introduction almost made it worse. He pleads with the audience to “get it”, while admitting that they most probably won’t. He said the ones that “get it” are lucky. Basically saying “See my vision, or go fuck yourself.” What other director has ever had the balls…or the stunningly fucked up insecurity…to qualify their vision of greatness with an on-camera prologue??? Not even Oliver Stone, or Michael Moore.

But again, I spoke of “aesthetics” in my last contribution to the site, and there will never be any arguing about that. Memo, something touched you in this movie that can never be debated, and for that I am happy. That is, in a pure sense, what movies should be all about. God knows, there are plenty of movies like that for me…in which no one else can see the divine import. No matter how often I try to convince them.

But this movie was just nonsense to me. Bloated, self-indulgent, boring nonsense. The purest example of a director that says “Fuck you, I know what I am doing, and I know what I like. Now you are required to like it because it is my vision, and I have pleaded with you on camera at the outset just to make you feel like shit if you don’t like it”. What he forgets is that casual “viewers” will be watching it, so he can’t just plan for private screenings at his house, where he supplies all the food and alcohol and then asks for open-minded opinions.

In closing, I have no reservation here in saying I hated TIDELAND. I just have to be honest, as nonsensical as it will seem. And I also have to be honest, I don’t use the word “hated” casually in my daily life. Unless, of course, you are talking about the Green Bay Packers. Or Monty Hall. Yes, I mean Monty Hall from “Let’s Make A Deal”. That motherfucker.

Agreed with everything you’ve said. Wait till you watch The Banishment and We Are The Strange - the former will make you poo your pants with excitement the latter will poo in your head and stain your brain. It’s a bit like dropping acid during tarkovsky only less fun and even more exhausting but same as, at the end you feel like you made it! On another note we’re looking for a hot intern for summer over here in the UK - do you have any bright ideas?

alf

PS don’t forget Yuri Norstein’s TALE OF TALES and Carpenters’ DARK STAR and Anderson’s IF…. if you like your films rare and bloody

Joel has decided to take the low road on this one, but I can assure you, my friend, that I will PERSONALLY be filing a defamation lawsuit in Federal court against both you, Mr. Salazar, and your wretched website. And you should be scared…very scared…because my personal lawyer, Willie Joe Handlebars, has a rich and full goatee.

Well said. And I guess I’ll add “Tideland” to my Netflix queue.