The Top 5 Reasons to Ignore my Top 10 List

by Warren Curry 

 

It’s 2008 and CinemaSpeak rolls along stronger than ever (I’m purposely ignoring the fact I haven’t contributed to this blog in…ummm…a long time).  To commence with a logical observation, the beginning of a new year means we just ended an old one, right?  And in the movie world, the end of a year means it’s time for critics, reporters, friends, relatives, co-workers, Larry King and anyone else who’s seen ten new movies in the past 12 months to author their own “Best Of” list. 

If you’ve never done this, well, it’s simple.  Just make sure to see 10 movies released in 2008 by December 31, and on January 1, 2009 find a blog, website or bathroom stall to list your ten favorite movies of the year.  You might even discover that friends and acquaintances will think of you as a movie authority after reading your Best Of list.  Heck, maybe you can turn trading Best Of lists with family members into a New Year’s Day event!   After all, do you really want to watch The Rose Bowl halftime show?

I’ve been reviewing movies on the ‘ol Interweb since 2002, but hadn’t compiled a personal Ten Best list since, I think, 2004…that is, until this past year.  Breaking with tradition, the editor of the website I write for, Einsiders.com, asked a few members of the staff to contribute their own Best Of lists rather than just posting one cumulative Top 10.  It’d been a while since I had an outlet to do this, so I, of course, jumped at the opportunity.  We all know that everyone likes lists.

As I narrowed down the field of movies I’d seen in 2007 to my favorite ten, I started to question my qualifications to do this.  While I was able to see (and review) a bundle of 2007 releases, there are so many other movies I didn’t see.  As you may have guessed, I don’t make my living as a film critic.  I have a regular old day job, a wife and other responsibilities/interests (like playing cheap blackjack in seedy Las Vegas “locals” casinos), which prevent me from catching five new releases every week.  Additionally, I don’t partake in many big studio movies…a few here and there — and that’s a very literal estimate.

Despite my misgivings, I carried on and cobbled together my Best Of list.  In fact, you, lucky reader, can view this list (and others) with just one click of your mouse on the following link: http://einsiders.com/features/columns/show_article.php?article=370.  So have fun perusing the titles; perhaps you’ll find a good recommendation or two. 

But back to my point — I’ll be the first to call my Top 10 inconsequential for the reasons stated above.  I’ll be even more specific and list five 2007 movies I didn’t see, which any self-respecting film critic should have seen before being allowed to pen a Top 10.  So here’s one more list (arranged alphabetically) to toss on the pile… 

American Gangster: Believe you me, I had every intention of seeing this movie when it opened.  Its release happened to coincide with the beginning of the AFI Film Festival, which kept me busy for two weekends, and when the fest ended, I was bombarded with too many other screenings to make this a priority.  I had a chance to see a pre-release screening, but regrettably opted for the dismal “Margot at the Wedding.”  Looks like I’ll be Netflixing “American Gangster” (it’s getting a 2-disc AND limited 3-disc release). 

Charlie Wilson’s War: Blame the Las Vegas Review Journal.  When I was visiting my parents over the holidays, I planned to take my mother to see this one afternoon.  We checked the paper, agreed on a start time and arrived at the theater 15 minutes before it was supposed to begin.  My attempt to purchase tickets was met with the unfortunate realization that the Review Journal’s movie listings were incorrect.  It was playing at the theater we chose, but not at the time it was supposed to start.  Instead of returning a few hours later, I consulted Moviefone for other theaters playing the film, but none of the times were convenient.  So we drove to another theater and instead saw the very obvious, but also fairly well-executed, “The Great Debaters.”  After the movie, my mom said, “I’m glad we saw this instead of Charlie Wilson.”  And if mom’s happy, then I’m happy.  I doubt I’ll see “Charlie Wilson’s War” in the theater, so Netflix it is. 

I’m Not There:  I guess I’m just not that interested in Bob Dylan, because it’s strange I’d skip Todd Haynes’ follow up to his fantastic “Far From Heaven.”  I don’t dislike Dylan’s music; I just haven’t heard much of it (even though in high school a few friends and I used to love poking fun at “Lay Lady Lay”).  Perhaps Haynes’ use of multiple actors to portray Dylan at various stages of his life is a successful experiment, but it sounds like a ploy that portends a pretentious, overly “arty” movie.  I’m mildly curious about this film, but will I ever see it?  Maybe if I stumble across it on cable. 

Michael Clayton: If you were to sing this movie’s praises to me, I wouldn’t be skeptical in the least.  I’m sure it’s a fine film.  In fact, I’ll go ahead and agree with your assessment as long as you promise I never have to watch it.  Two of the past three years, George Clooney has starred in critically acclaimed films (”Syriana” is the other one) that look about as fun to watch as knocking back a jar of fish oil in one gulp.  Maybe the movie is more palatable than I presume, but the incredibly “serious” advertising just leaves me cold.  And I’ve always been ambivalent about Clooney; he’s an actor who just can’t seem to check his celebrity arrogance at the door when he steps on screen.  I consider him more of a presence than a talent. This Just In:  Warner Bros. is re-releasing “Michael Clayton” in theaters nationwide on January 25!!!  Thank you, Warner Bros., for giving me another chance to miss it!

P2: To subvert the premise of this piece somewhat, “P2″ makes this list, not because I didn’t see it, but because I did.  The last time I spent money on a movie I knew going in would be utter junk was when I parted ways with a ten dollar bill to see “Paparazzi.”  “P2″ has a few satisfyingly ridiculous moments, decent enough gore and star Rachel Nichols isn’t hard on the eyes.  Overall, however, it’s terrible enough that I wished I could escape through a trapdoor in the theater, directly into my car, so no one would spot me walking out of this movie.  Wasn’t Wes Bentley a budding star at one time?  His post “American Beauty” career makes Thora Birch’s look like a smashing success by comparison.  I wasn’t forced to see this movie — I wanted to.  “American Gangster” was even playing in the same theater, but the allure of “P2″ was irresistible.  Do you need any more reasons why my Top 10 can’t be taken seriously?

And on that note, I’ll sign off hoping you enjoyed this list.  If not, feel free to make a Top 10 list of reasons you didn’t and leave them in the comments.