Archive for the ‘Dead Celebrities’ Category

A Doc on Doc

February 13, 2008

by Memo Salazar

young Doc, old Doc

I’ve been a “New Yorker” going on six years now. Before then, New York was just a big city to me, and New Yorkers were these creatures who had convinced themselves that they could never live anywhere else, because they had already discovered the Greatest Place On Earth. Yawn, I thought, who wants to live with such snobs? Next thing I knew, I found myself here, among the rich and the insane, and quickly discovered that those New Yorkers were kind of right- this is a city that never stops giving. There’s always something new to discover, something waiting for you to learn, and someone fascinating for you to bump into. I’ve lived in bigger cities, but, despite its overpriced real estate, its annoyingly rich patrons and its occasional pretensions, New York gets under your skin in a good way.

H.L. “Doc” Humes was a New Yorker, too. Other than being remotely familiar with the name, I had no idea who this guy was, or why I should care to watch a full-length documentary on the man. But I did, anyway; Doc, lovingly made by Humes’ daughter, Immy, is both a riveting tale of one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever heard of, and a tribute to a father by a daughter who clearly loved him, despite the difficult and challenging life he crafted for himself. As with My Architect and Tell Them Who You Are, this “first-person” portrait of an influential creative person from the point of view of the subject’s offspring provides an intimacy (and access to some wonderful interviews) no one else could achieve. Doc is different than those other films in that it’s really not about the parent/subject - child/filmmaker relationship, but rather a simple, chronological biography of Humes. Nothing flashy, nothing clever- which is just perfect, as there is so much substance to the story, a straightforward approach is just what the doc… er… doctor ordered. Immy Humes wisely lets her father’s peers, and not the editing room, do the talking.

And what a list of peers! Interviewed are such fascinating figures as Norman Mailer, George Plimpton, Tim Leary, and Paul Auster, not to mention Hume’s own family and illegitimate offspring- all in all, a really diverse group of human beings. And that’s what the film is really about- one of the most dynamic human beings to emerge out of our 20th Century culture, a man so full of energy and creativity that his mind had clearly left his psychological and emotional selves far behind. Humes wrote 2 acclaimed novels, shot an independent film, hung out with great artists like Ornette Coleman and Richard Wright, founded one of the most influential literary journals (The Paris Review), designed and built low-cost paper houses as aid to third-world countries, experimented with LSD way before it was considered “cool”, was an avid supporter of the legalization of cannabis, communicated with clouds, hung out on college campuses dispensing words of wisdom as well as thousands of dollars in cash to whomever happened to come by… I mean, this guy clearly had a restless soul, one that hungered for whatever challenge life could throw at it. As is often the case, one’s devotion to such a lifestyle doesn’t jive well with structure, whether the societal structure of jobs and the law (being arrested for protesting a citywide ban on folk music is one of his several inspiring arrests) or the interpersonal structure of a family. Doc clearly loved his children, but his mental state was simply not the ideal one to be in while fulfilling the role of father. Even so, Doc is a dignified portrait which never dips into the easy button-pushing of scandal and daytime-TV faire; the film doesn’t shy away from detailing his darkest moments, but it doesn’t linger or milk the story for dramatic effect. Yes, he was paranoid, but yes, he had every reason to be- Doc does a wonderful job of bringing the viewer around to see the world through Doc’s eyes, so that, by the end, you really feel like you, too spent time with the guy, shooting the shit every day in Harvard Square for hours. I actually do have vague memories of seeing a man very much like him hanging around that area in the late 80’s while I hunted used records… though, perhaps, it’s just wishful thinking. Even in death, Doc’s magnetic personality is in full effect.

Doc is, ultimately, a story of redemption- for Doc, after a lifetime of stubborn self-fulfilment, spends his last few years with the people he loves the most, developing relationships that had been put on pause decades earlier. The fact that his own daughter- someone who could have resented him the most for his negligent role as a father during her childhood- had, at this stage in his life, the presence of mind to be lovingly celebrating his final few years of life by way of a video camera is evidence of Doc’s powerful and positive influence on the people around him. Though his body was on its way out, his mind was as sharp as ever, providing one of Doc’s best lines in the film, when he insightfully proclaimed that you never really stop loving people- after all the anger and animosity recedes, the love is still there, waiting for you to pick up where you’d left off. It’s as much a statement about himself as it is about the amazing collection of people Doc had gathered across the decades and continents of his journey, all of whom speak of the man with a combination of admiration and compassion- a testament to Doc’s mind as well as his heart.

I have no idea where or when you’ll be able to see Doc, but the film’s website might be of service in that regard. Check it out, as it’s definitely worth your time.

We Interrupt This Blog for a Brief Message From Our Sponsor

July 25, 2007

People often wonder why it is that critics get to do what they do. What special qualifications do the have? What makes them smarter than the average Joe when it comes to the art of film? After all, they sure don’t seem any smarter. Why do they get to do what they do?

For those of you who want an answer, here is the dynamic duo of film critics, America’s “let’s simplify the art of film to a couple of fingers” TV-Celeb reviewers, Siskel & Ebert, explaining the secrets of their in-depth critical strategies. Enjoy.

We now take you back to our regularly scheduled critiques.

Dead Celebrity Blog - Part One

March 16, 2007

deadcelebritypartone1.jpg

By Dan Tester

In an unprecedented scientific experiment, we here at CINEMASPEAK.COM are proud to announce that CINEMASPEAK.COM is, today, launching an innovative and futuristic feature to the blogosphere. With the combined participation of the FCC, NASA, the NAACP, the ASPCA, TCBY Yogurt, and the YMCA, and most importantly in participation with world-famous “chatting with dead celebrities” psychic Sylvia Browne, CINEMASPEAK.COM is introducing a series of blogs from deceased celebrities, to try to get a feeling of the afterlife in four key categories: their thoughts, their experiences, their opinions, and their thoughts.

On this day, CINEMASPEAK.COM is proud to introduce Part One of, hopefully, a long list of deceased celebrities contributing their thoughts, experiences, opinions, and thoughts of cinema excellence, from the aspect of a deceased dead person. As a side note, we cannot predict, or direct, what the dead celebrities will discuss. Due to the great expense of this process, editing would not even be a possible, but we can only hope that the dead celebrities will follow the stated topical guidelines of the webmaster, as would a loyal “living” contributor to the site. We can only hope…and do hope…that they will only discuss movies. But they may not.

First, the legal matters:

LEGAL NOTICES: CINEMASPEAK.COM is not responsible for any of the content provided by dead celebrities. CINEMASPEAK.COM cannot, and will not, be held liable for any asinine or shameful displays of cinema ignorance proffered by dead celebrities (please see the “KIM JUSTICE RULE” in the official Cinemaspeak handbook for the full details).

And now, without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen…CINEMASPEAK.COM, the FCC, NASA, the NAACP, the ASPCA, TCBY Yogurt, and the YMCA….are proud to present to you…dead from the Great Beyond….Old Ski Nose himself…the one…the only…the Mister…..BOB HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!….

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

Hello, Hollywood phonies. This is Bob “From The Great Beyond” Hope. Even though I’m just a rotting corpse, I still watch FOX NEWS for all the headlines, so I am up to date. Isn’t that sumthin’, boy?

Hey, how about that James Cameron? Isn’t he sumthin’? First he sank an indestructible ship, and now he is taking on Christianity. Isn’t that wild? Ooh Boy, I gotta tell ya. That’s wild. Jesus’ Lost Tomb? This whole thing reminds me of that movie THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST from a few years back. Did you see that one? That was really sumthin’. That Mary Magdelene was sure sumthin’. Rawwwwwrrrhhhh. I gotta tell ya, you gotta hand it to Jesus. At my age, I don’t even think about sex when I’m havin’ a good day, let alone bein’ crucified. But that James Cameron documentary sure caused a stir. I’ll tell ya, boy, I haven’t seen the news channels so focused on false prophets since that whole Enron thing.

Hey, how about that Enron, wasn’t that sumthin’? Zsa Zsa Gabor told me that one day there was a rolling blackout in her neighborhood and she called the fuzz, but luckily it was just Nipsey Russell trippin’ over her front hedge and fallin’ down a hill. I gotta tell ya, that was pretty wild. That Nipsey was a genius, boy. He could rhyme anything.

But to get serious here for a moment, buy War Bonds.

So how about that Ann Coulter? She sure has a mouth on her, boy. I haven’t heard such vile language coming out of a chick’s mouth since my wife Dolores caught me bangin’ Dorothy Lamour on the set of “Road To Zanzibar.” Boy, that was sure sumthin’ wasn’t it?

But for an anorexic dyke, Ann Coulter sure does like to spout out the hatred, boy. Hey, I know John Edwards is married to a chubby gal, but that don’t mean he is gay, boy. I know lots of chubby chasers who are straight. It’s wild. I gotta tell ya though, one time, in 1972, I called Charles Nelson Reilly a faggot, but he just smiled and made that ‘Younggg Younggg Younggg” sound while tuggin’ at his collar. Times have sure changed, boy. I gotta tell ya, there was nuthin’ wrong with it back then. It was just havin’ fun. Isn’t that wild? Right heeeeyaaaaa!!!

Hey, how about that President Bush? Isn’t he wild? I haven’t seen a President this smart since Corky ran for President of his high school on “Life Goes On.” That was sure sumthin’. And Cheney too, nutty, nutty stuff. You know what they say about Cheney. “He’s a heartbeat away…from a heartbeat.” Now they say he has a blood clot in his leg. I have a feeling Scooter Libby was just told to report that to the press so those boys can get Rudy Giuliani on the ticket but fast, boy. I gotta tell ya, that’s sumthin’, boy. But that White House, that’s really sumthin’, isn’t it? I always said that if you have a Dick and a Bush too close together for too long, somethin’ is gonna get fucked. I had just never realized until the 2000 election how much the United States looks like a big, deformed vagina when you turn your atlas sideways. Right heeeeyaaaaa!!!

Hey boy, I was just told that I am supposed to recommend a movie to you all. I would go with CLERKS 2, by a nice fella called Kevin Smith. I gotta tell ya, it is a great movie. There’s some good stuff in that movie, boy. But there’s a scene where a man has sex with a donkey. Back in my day, there was nuthin’ wrong with that. It was just havin’ fun, boy. But a lot of people up here in the Great Beyond were offended. I hear that movie critic Joel Siegel was offended. Joel Siegel? Does anyone pay attention to what this mustachioed nut has to say about anything, anyway? I gotta tell ya, that would be pretty wild if it were true. I also saw another movie recently. It was called BACHELOR PARTY. That was some wild stuff, boy. It starred Hollywood’s Tom Hanks, and also featured a scene with suggested bestiality. I think the director of CLERKS 2 was just making a point, boy. Bestiality is bestiality. Suggested or depicted, it is just deplorable. But Hollywood’s Tom Hanks got off scott free. I gotta tell ya, people love that Tom Hanks, boy. But CLERKS 2 caused a douche like Joel Siegel to go running and screaming from the theater, boy. At least I think that was Joel Siegel. It might have been Gene Shalit. My eyesight is goin’, boy. I can always make out a mustache though. On a side note, up here in the Great Beyond, the only movie review show on TV features Joel Siegel and Byron Allen discussing the movies of the day. I might be in Hell, boy. Kids, I gotta tell ya, don’t do drugs.

Well, I think it’s about time for me to travel back to the Great Beyond, boy. Anna Nicole Smith just recently arrived up here, and she sure is gettin’ down to business quick. Let’s just say her trousers are nothing more than ankle warmers. Ooooooooohweeeeeeee! She likes old, wrinkled millionaires, boy. And up here in the Great Beyond, I only have five criteria for the trash I will schtupa: dumb, blonde, drugged up, big-tittied and dead. Should be a fun Lent! Rawwwwwwwr.

Well, this is Bob “Gettin’ Me Some Tush” Hope sayin’ “Be Good To Your Family, They’ve Been Good To You!” Right heeeeyaaaaa!!!

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

CINEMASPEAK.COM thanks you for participating in this groundbreaking experiment. And now, a few critical reviews…

“If you only read one blog all year, read Tester!” Larry King, CNN

“If blogging was an art form, Tester would be considered an artist among the likes of Da Vinci, Goya, Picasso, and that really angry guy that just threw paint brushes at a canvas!” Deborah Norville, INSIDE EDITION

“Cheese Nips are good, but if you add your own extra cheese to ‘em, I like ‘em even more!” President George W. Bush, THE CRAWFORD TIMES

“I love Dan Tester. He will make a fine 3rd Husband!” Titty McJesusFreak, HARPO PRODUCTIONS

“I am a douche, and I thank Mr. Tester for pointing that out. This is surely the feel good blog of the year.” Joel Siegel, WHOEVER WILL PAY MY MUSTACHE